For Certain Reasons

Yes, I watch American Idol.  And yes, I have opinions.

The Judges:

Randy Jackson - I think he's on a mission to find the most completely generic thing to say at any given time.  It's so bad that I can't even really review him, so I'll just say "he did his thing."  (Dawg)

Kara Dioguardi - I don't really know what she's talking about.  Ever.  She does make some pretty serious faces, though, and that probably counts for something.  She totally said "Bitch" too!

Simon Cowell - He was off last night.  It was bizarre; one of those "it must sound different in person" sort of nights.  He commented to one of the girls about the surplus of internet singer-songwriters putting acoustic twists on hits...what exactly do you expect when the most mediocre internet busker won the whole damned thing last year?



Ellen Degeneres - I'm not blown away, but I do like what she's done so far.  Paula's niche was ostensibly the performance portion of the judging, and I think Ellen is perfect for that.  I found myself agreeing with her on just about every performance.

The Contestants, Worst to Best:

Lacey Brown - Just didn't get it.  Bad song, bad performance. 

Janell Wheeler - I had to walk away from the TV.  My wife asked, "Do you want me to pause it?"  I replied, "No. Never."

Paige Miles - Awful, awful song choice.  It distracted from an OK vocal.

Ashley Rodriguez and Michelle Delamor - I can't separate them in my mind.  They're not bad, but they're both as boring as they are beautiful.  Like a pair of Maria Menounos.

Katie Stevens - Not bad, but too precocious for my taste.

Didi Benami - I think she was the one savaged by Simon's busker comment, and I don't think it was totally deserved.  However, my grandma's 1974 apartment called, and it wants its rug back.

Lilly Scott - Here's where the girls start getting stronger, and while she was technically pretty good, I think she lacked star quality.

Crystal Bowersox - Beautiful voice, but please lose the harp.  I'm sorry, you can't play a harp on a rig like that and look anything but goofy...and I know it fit with the song, but I don't really think it added.  I just don't think you can play a mouth-intensive instrument on a singing competition.  I'm imagining a trombone player next.

Haeley Vaughn - I really don't get the non-Ellen judges' criticism.  I thought it was interesting and cool, and I can't believe she's only sixteen.  Definitely unique.

Katelyn Epperly - I despised her divorce storyline, but I'm officially calling her my darkhorse favorite to win this year.  She has a great look, a cool voice, and interesting influences.  (Favorite female vocalist on her profile:  Karen O)  If she can control her hair like she controls her voice, she could be a big star.

Siobhan Magnus - I put her in the top spot strictly on vocal quality, because she was pretty fantastic last night.  However, I'm a little terrified of her.  Something tells me she has an altar made of fingernail clippings somewhere.

Overall Impression

A bizarre night with weird judging.  I don't think anyone put all of the elements together, but I still pick Katelyn Epperly to go all the way.